im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
