I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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