Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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