dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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