we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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