It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
