that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
