I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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