I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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