we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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