yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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