Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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