How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
