one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
