Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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