Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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