dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize