Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love having hate sex.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
