i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
