What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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