I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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