don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize