A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize