just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
