her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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