I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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