I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
