I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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