It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
