I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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