she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
