Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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