Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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