He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
