Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize