Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
