so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
