How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
