went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
