I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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