Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
