She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
