I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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