There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
