Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
