I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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