would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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