I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
