they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
