Where is the hickey?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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