Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
