OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
