i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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