good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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