MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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